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Author
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Topic: The Wise Old Man
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rasputin
Member
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posted 06-18-2005 08:17 PM
  
Subject: FW: A sly old FoxA silver-haired man walked into a jewelry store one Friday evening
with a
>beautiful young gal at his side.
>
>He told the jeweler he was looking for a special ring for his
girlfriend.
>The jeweler looked through his
>stock and brought out a $5,000 ring and showed it to him. The old man
said,
>"I don't think you understand,
>I want something very special for this very special lady."
>
>At that statement, the jeweler went to his special stock and brought
>another ring over. "Here's a stunning ring at only $40,000," the
jeweler
>said.
>
>The young lady's eyes sparkled and her whole body trembled with
excitement.
>The old man seeing this said, "We'll take it." The jeweler asked how
>payment would be made and the old man stated by check. "I know you
need to
>make sure my check is good, so I'll write it now and you can call the
bank
>Monday to verify the funds and I'll pick the ring up Monday
afternoon," he
>said.
>
>Monday morning, a very teed-off je weler phoned the old man. "There's
no
>money in that account."
>
>"I know", said the old man, "but can you imagine the weekend I had?"
IP: Logged |
rasputin
Member
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posted 06-18-2005 08:19 PM
A married couple in their early 60's were out celebrating their 35th wedding anniversary in a quiet, romantic little restaurant. Suddenly, a tiny yet beautiful fairy appeared on their table and said, "For being such an exemplary married couple and for being faithful to each other for all this time, I will grant you each a wish".
"Ooh, I want to travel around the world with my darling husband said the wife". The fairy moved her magic stick and abracadabra! - two tickets for the new QM2 luxury liner appeared in her hands. Now, it was the husband's turn. He thought for a moment and said "Well, this is all very romantic, but an opportunity like this only occurs once in a lifetime, so, I'm sorry my love, but my wish is to have a wife 30 years younger than me." The wife and the fairy were deeply disappointed, but a wish is a wish. So, the fairy made a circle with her magic stick and abracadabra! the husband became 92 years old.
Moral - Men might be ungrateful idiots but fairies are female.
IP: Logged |
haitiball
Member
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posted 06-18-2005 08:36 PM
Encore!  Encore! Encore!
IP: Logged |
rasputin
Member
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posted 06-18-2005 08:58 PM
quote:
Originally posted by rasputin:
A married couple in their early 60's were out celebrating their 35th wedding anniversary in a quiet, romantic little restaurant. Suddenly, a tiny yet beautiful fairy appeared on their table and said, "For being such an exemplary married couple and for being faithful to each other for all this time, I will grant you each a wish".
"Ooh, I want to travel around the world with my darling husband said the wife". The fairy moved her magic stick and abracadabra! - two tickets for the new QM2 luxury liner appeared in her hands. Now, it was the husband's turn. He thought for a moment and said "Well, this is all very romantic, but an opportunity like this only occurs once in a lifetime, so, I'm sorry my love, but my wish is to have a wife 30 years younger than me." The wife and the fairy were deeply disappointed, but a wish is a wish. So, the fairy made a circle with her magic stick and abracadabra! the husband became 92 years old.
Moral - Men might be ungrateful idiots but fairies are female.
IP: Logged |
rasputin
Member
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posted 06-18-2005 08:59 PM
quote:
Originally posted by rasputin:
Subject: FW: A sly old FoxA silver-haired man walked into a jewelry store one Friday evening
with a
>beautiful young gal at his side.
>
>He told the jeweler he was looking for a special ring for his
girlfriend.
>The jeweler looked through his
>stock and brought out a $5,000 ring and showed it to him. The old man
said,
>"I don't think you understand,
>I want something very special for this very special lady."
>
>At that statement, the jeweler went to his special stock and brought
>another ring over. "Here's a stunning ring at only $40,000," the
jeweler
>said.
>
>The young lady's eyes sparkled and her whole body trembled with
excitement.
>The old man seeing this said, "We'll take it." The jeweler asked how
>payment would be made and the old man stated by check. "I know you
need to
>make sure my check is good, so I'll write it now and you can call the
bank
>Monday to verify the funds and I'll pick the ring up Monday
afternoon," he
>said.
>
>Monday morning, a very teed-off je weler phoned the old man. "There's
no
>money in that account."
>
>"I know", said the old man, "but can you imagine the weekend I had?"
IP: Logged |
rasputin
Member
|
posted 06-18-2005 09:00 PM
quote:
Originally posted by rasputin:
A married couple in their early 60's were out celebrating their 35th wedding anniversary in a quiet, romantic little restaurant. Suddenly, a tiny yet beautiful fairy appeared on their table and said, "For being such an exemplary married couple and for being faithful to each other for all this time, I will grant you each a wish".
"Ooh, I want to travel around the world with my darling husband said the wife". The fairy moved her magic stick and abracadabra! - two tickets for the new QM2 luxury liner appeared in her hands. Now, it was the husband's turn. He thought for a moment and said "Well, this is all very romantic, but an opportunity like this only occurs once in a lifetime, so, I'm sorry my love, but my wish is to have a wife 30 years younger than me." The wife and the fairy were deeply disappointed, but a wish is a wish. So, the fairy made a circle with her magic stick and abracadabra! the husband became 92 years old.
Moral - Men might be ungrateful idiots but fairies are female.
IP: Logged |
raetownman
Member
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posted 06-18-2005 09:36 PM
An old man lived alone in the country. He wanted to
>dig his potato garden but it was very hard work as the ground was
>hard. His only son, Fred, who used to help him, was in prison. The
>old man wrote a letter to his son and described his predicament.
>
>Dear Fred,
>I am feeling pretty bad because it looks like I won't be able to
>plant my potato garden this year. I'm just getting too old to be digging up
>a garden plot. If you were here, all my troubles would be over. I
>know you would dig the plot for me.
>Love Dad
>
>A few days later he received a letter from his son.
>
>Dear Dad,
>For heaven's sake, don't dig up that garden! That's where I buried
>the BODIES.
>Love Fred
>
>At 4 am the next morning, FBI agents and local police arrived and
>dug up the entire area without finding any bodies. They apologized to the
>old man and left. That same day the old man received another letter from
>his son.
>
>Dear Dad,
>Okay, you can plant the potatoes now. That was the best I could do
>from here.
>Love Fred
IP: Logged |
raetownman
Member
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posted 06-18-2005 09:40 PM
A young Japanese girl had been taught all her life that when she married she was to please her husband and never upset him. So the first morning of her honeymoon the young Japanese bride crawled out of bed after making love, stooped down to pick up her husband's clothes, and accidentally lets out a big fart. She looked up and said: "Awww. So sorry... excuse please, front hole so happy back hole laugh out loud
IP: Logged |
raetownman
Member
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posted 06-18-2005 09:48 PM
Subject: Ralph's Surgery
>
>
>
>When Ralph first noticed that his penis
>was growing larger and staying
>erect longer, he was delighted, as was his wife.
>
>
>
>But after several weeks,
>his penis had grown to nearly twenty inches.
>
>
>
>Ralph became quite concerned.
>He was having problems dressing,
>and even walking. So he and
>his wife went to see a prominent u rologist.
>
>
>
>
>After an initial
>examination, the doctor explained to the couple
>that, though rare, Ralph's condition could be fixed
>through corrective surgery.
>
>
>
>
>"How long will Ralph be on crutches?" the wife asked anxiously.
>
>
>"Crutches? Why would he need crutches?"
>responded the surprised doctor.
>
>"Well," said the wife coldly, "you're gonna lengthen
>his legs, aren't you?
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